It is generally best if both parents can work together and negotiate the terms of a visitation agreement, as opposed to having a judge make these decisions. This requires both parents to be cooperative, flexible, and thoughtful of the other parent’s wishes.

The terms of your child custody and visitation order not only dictate what time you spend with your child, but are taken into consideration in the calculation of child support payments. If the non-custodial parent has the child for more than the standard 120 nights a year, the court will decrease the monthly child support payment significantly, a matter that should be given careful consideration during negotiations.

And finally, visitation and child support are completely separate matters. Therefore, a custodial parent cannot withhold visitation because the non-custodial parent is behind or not paying child support, and the non-custodial parent cannot stop paying child support because the custodial parent is not allowing visitation. The remedy for a parent who is not being allowed visitation or who is not receiving child support is to bring the issue to the judge’s attention by the filing of a motion for contempt.

If a child’s mother and father have never been married, and legal paternity has not been established, the mother is automatically granted sole legal custody. She will be the only parent listed on the birth certificate, will determine who will see the child, where the child will attend school, what medical treatment the child will receive, and what if any religion in which the child will be raised. The mother has no right to child support payments from the father until paternity is legally established. After paternity is established, a mother may seek back child support for up to five years from the date of paternity determination.

Once a DNA test establishes a man’s fatherhood, he has a right to equal consideration in custody and visitation proceedings. In addition, the court may order a birth mother to make child support payments to a custodial father. The father, once paternity has been established, must request from a court to determine legal custody and visitation arrangements.

As a family law attorney, I represent both mothers and fathers in paternity actions. If you are a mother or father needing legal representation in a paternity matter, call me today for a free intial consultation.

In litigation, “discovery” is the process by which each side learns about the other’s case. In divorce cases, discovery is most often focused upon information related to finances. Most of the divorce cases I am involved in are In Tulsa County where the local rules require each side to provide one another certain basic financial information. Additional financial information can be “discovered” through the use of “interrogatories” (questions that must be answered under oath), requests for production of documents, depositions (taking testimony under oath before a court report who transcribes all the questions and answers) and subpoenas issued to third parties to produce certain documents. The discovery process, including motions and in-court arguments over what is relevant and discoverable, can take considerable time and cost considerable money in attorney’s fees. And unfortunately, some spouses and their attorneys fight dirty by intentionally using discovery as a weapon to conduct an embarrassing inquiry into the opposing spouse’s finances, activities and associations.

An individual could also attempt surgery on himself, or attempt to represent himself in an IRS audit, or even attempt to wrestle an alligator all by himself, but I think we all know that for a lay person to attempt any of those three things would be a very risky endeavor. And likewise, the lay person who attempts to resolve their own family law matter risks a very messy outcome.

Here is a good article on this very subject written by Illinois family law attorney Richard Coffey.

Source: DadsDivorce.com.

For more on this disturbing story, read this news article.

Source: FoxNews.com.

For more on this phenomonen, read “Breaking Up Is Harder To Do After Housing Fall.”

Source: New York Times.

If there ever was a more important role for lawyers and litigation professionals, it is in family law. Corporate law, environmental law, even real estate law has nuthin’ on the complexities and the drama that explode from divorce petitions, custody battles—even who gets to keep the family dog.

And you know those ads you see, that advertise divorces for a couple of hundred bucks? Don’t go there. You get what you pay for—and unless you’re willing to serve up your life and your future on a silver platter, you’ll need some qualified legal representation to make sure your interests are protected.

Let’s face it, relationships don’t seem to last like they once did. Many factors are behind this. The ‘me generation’ that got its feet wet in the liberated 1960s, then passed on their views and values to their kids, don’t tend to stick it out like previous generations. ‘Till death do us part’ borders on a fairytale now. People just aren’t so willing to stick with a relationship that is loveless, lacks fun or substance, or just doesn’t work for a variety of other reasons.

What’s more, dual-income households where both husband and wife have full-time careers mean that it’s easier to split. Translated, there’s more money in the pot, and the woman (who usually is awarded primary custody of the kids) will still enjoy child support from her spouse, but with her own career does not have to rely solely on the support payments to live. She has her own life, her own friends and her own income. In many cases, she makes more than he does. Why not bale, if the relationship just isn’t working?

Another factor: the baby boomers have advanced to middle age, and have arrived at mid-life with all the crises that go along with it. Suddenly the fact that you’ve been married 25 years to the same person, perhaps working at the same job and living in the same house doesn’t seem to do it for you any longer. You’ve arrived at that point in your life where you need to take a leap of faith and fulfill some dreams—even if it means trading in your life in the process.

Regardless of the motivation, the process is complex and fraught with risk for both sides.

And the stories are legion. Take the fellow who writes on lawyersandsettlemets.com about the end of his relationship with his former wife. He claims she did not work but led a life of leisure, taking the opportunity to see other men and women on the side. When her husband confronted her, she allegedly fled to her wealthy father to arrange for a divorce.

And despite the fact her family has money, she allegedly won the house that her spouse brought into the relationship, his car, and even his pet dog that predated his ex by five years. He also lost his job, yet is required to pay support payments to his former spouse, in spite of the obvious wealth of her family.

The upshot is that she now lives in her father’s mansion, while her ex has been forced to live with his cousin and his family while he tries to cobble another life together for himself.

The bottom line is the fairness that so often escapes a family law case that is mishandled, at least by one of the sides, due to a lack of proper representation. Of course you want to be fair, and you like to think that the fairness factor will guide the process. But that is not always the case, especially when there is anger involved.

Experts suggest that if your relationship looks as though it is coming apart and you’re considering divorce, the best couple of hundred bucks you’ll ever spend is by sitting down with a reputable family law firm for a consultation. In an hour, their family attorneys can give you a pretty good idea of what you might be in for, what the dynamic, the payout and the cost, the likely custody arrangement, and in a nutshell what kind of life you’re going to have at the end of it all. It may not be pretty, and after hearing the hard facts you might think twice about dissolving your relationship, and try to patch it up instead.

However if you feel you have to proceed, or you have an inkling that your spouse is—and it isn’t possible to work it out amicably, then for heaven’s sake get yourself a lawyer, and get a good one.

You owe it to your kids, yourself and your future.

Source: LawyersandSettlements.com

Each of Ms. Bowie’s tips involves putting the child first:

• Put your child first! Try to step out of how YOU feel and think about how your child is feeling.

• Put your child first! Plan ahead. Have a specific schedule of access in any separation or parenting agreement.

• Put your child first! Listen to yourself and the other parent from your child’s ears.

• Put your child first! Ever had a business colleague you couldn’t stand, personally, but whom you just couldn’t do without in terms of your business? Think about the other parent that way.

• Put your child first! Make an appointment with the other parent every year in September to plan for the upcoming holidays.

When you get right down to the one, essential survival tip for weathering holiday visitation disputes, there’s really only one tip you need to remember . . . put your child first!

To read Ms. Bowies’ article in its entirety, click here.

Source: Maryland Father’s Rights Blog.